Today I made a rather meaningful step in my recovery. I ate a pizza dinner with my family with no guilt attached.
I was thinking of making something special for my dad as it is his birthday and (ironically enough) I am the cook of the family. He's been going on forever and ever how he wanted pizza. So pizza it was to be. The question was "Would I be strong enough to eat and enjoy it without guilt?" And I was! I ate more then I planned to because I was hungry, but instead of filling up on salad I ate what I really wanted - more pizza. It was yummy! I forgot how good it was - haven't eaten it for over a year now.
We all sat down to a relaxing family dinner. We ate, talked and laughed. It felt so good to be "normal" just for a minute. To eat and enjoy a meal without thinking about the calories. To let yourself go and just enjoy the moment. I missed that. I missed the feeling that I wasn't the "odd one out". Usually at these kinds of occasions I would hide in my room, or avoid being in the general vicinity of the meal altogether. But no more! It's about time I stop letting food dictate what I do and don't want to do.
So here's to small victories, an enjoyable evening evening, family, friends and a relaxing weekend ahead.
Have you overcome a fear food recently? If so what, and how did you manage to do it?