Friday, October 29, 2010

Small victories

Today I made a rather meaningful step in my recovery. I ate a pizza dinner with my family with no guilt attached.

I was thinking of making something special for my dad as it is his birthday and (ironically enough) I am the cook of the family. He's been going on forever and ever how he wanted pizza. So pizza it was to be. The question was "Would I be strong enough to eat and enjoy it without guilt?" And I was! I ate more then I planned to because I was hungry, but instead of filling up on salad I ate what I really wanted - more pizza. It was yummy! I forgot how good it was - haven't eaten it for over a year now.

We all sat down to a relaxing family dinner. We ate, talked and laughed. It felt so good to be "normal" just for a minute. To eat and enjoy a meal without thinking about the calories. To let yourself go and just enjoy the moment. I missed that. I missed the feeling that I wasn't the "odd one out". Usually at these kinds of occasions I would hide in my room, or avoid being in the general vicinity of the meal altogether. But no more! It's about time I stop letting food dictate what I do and don't want to do.

So here's to small victories, an enjoyable evening evening, family, friends and a relaxing weekend ahead.

Have you overcome a fear food recently? If so what, and how did you manage to do it?


  1. Congratulations! That's quite an accomplishment. A month ago my Mom made homemade mac and cheese and though I didn't have a lot of it, I did have some which was pretty big for me. I'm glad to hear that you had a good time and you listened to the fact that you wanted pizza instead of salad - that's huge in itself as well!!

    A fear food that I've overcome recently is - get this - milk. Isn't that silly? (Soy milk to be accurate.) I would usually be limiting as to how much I used because of its calorie count and when I'd buy almond milk (40 calories opposed to 80-100) I'd feel like I could use more. I just told myself one day "do those extra 40-60 calories make or break my day? They shouldn't." And since then I've been able to make overnight oats and smoothies without measuring quantities of milk anymore and it's another relief to get off of my shoulders.

    Small steps, one at a time - some progress is better than none. :)

  2. Isn't it great when you can enjoy the same food as the rest of the family and just feel "normal" for once?!

    So proud of you!!

    Recently I've overcome my fear of SALT! It's not a "food" per se but it's something I feared, nonetheless. It adds so much more flavour to food and you don't even need to add all the much. I used Iodised table salt so it feels like I'm getting something more from it :)