My story.

There once was a little girl with bright blue eyes and a smile on her face. Her life was full of smiles and sunshine, she was happy and fancy free. Everyone told her she had a bright future ahead of her, that no one could stand in the way of achieving her goals. She believed them. 

In a way they were right, no one could stand between her and her dreams - no one but herself. 

Over time this little girl grew up and came to realize that life wasn't as simple and problem-free as she originally thought. Friends betrayed her, loved ones left her, circumstances shattered her perfect view of life. She grasped for something, anything to give her the strength to carry on, go give her life a sense of direction and purpose. She lost her sense of self worth, her values were shaken, she stopped trusting in the good nature of people. Slowly, ever so slowly, this little girl changed.   

One day she came to a realization - peoples opinion of her changed according to her looks. And she thought to herself "if others see me differently when I'm thinner, maybe I'll see myself differently as well". So she set out on a mission, trying to gain back the happiness and simplicity she had lost.
 At first it was all fun and games. A kilo here, a kilo there. The compliments started flooding in and she began to feel better about herself. "Just a little bit more" she'd tell herself "I'll stop whenever I feel good about myself". Little did she know that she was being sucked into something, something that was far beyond her control.

The fun and games stopped and the people around her became concerned. "Please eat normally," they begged "you're thin enough as is". But this girl couldn't see it. She had been blinded by an awful disease that was slowly taking over her life.  Yet another shattered relationship left her feeling most insecure and unwanted then ever. She pushed herself harder and harder, till those around her intervened and convinced her to stop.

She tried to change, to do better; but old habits die hard. Though her eating improved the voices were still there. The ones that told her she was worthless, the no one would ever love her unless she was thin. The called her to come back to them, promising her that her life would be better if she did. And after a while she believed those lies. So she fell, farther and faster then she even thought possible.

After a while she longed for a way out. She wanted so bad for this nightmare to end, to escape the viscous downward spiral her life had become. But she felt powerless to fight on her own. Her family convinced her to be admitted to IP. While they restored her weight and saved her from many health risks, her mindsets were still very much the same. Although she fought as best she could, deep inside she could not believe that full recovery was possible.

Slowly, ever so slowly, this sly illness slipped back into her life. It fed on the stress she was faced with, the feeling of being lost in her life, her lack of direction and vision. Soon she found herself back where she had been only a few months ago, before being admitted to IP. 

She cried as she looked at herself in the mirror, her reflection was a clear picture of the damage she was doing to herself. She felt powerless to stop once again. Yet to ask others for help seemed unthinkable. Deep inside she wondered if she was strong enough to fight these demons that had been part of her for so long. She feared recovery, she feared change, she feared the unknown. 

Finally she decided she could no longer go on living the way she had been till now. She reached out to her family for help and started the long and occasionally painful journey to recovery. It was an uphill climb, and at times she wanted to give up because it seemed too hard. But she struggled on because she believed that there was more to life then this illness. And till now she has never regretted her decision to fight. She has become stronger through the struggle, wiser through her mistakes, and happier by the moment. She now knows the full recovery is achievable, and although it may take time and effort to get there, someday she will reach the end of this climb. And this journey will have taught her that life is not a bed of roses, but it can be beautiful just the same. Although there are thorns there are also roses, and at the end of the night will be the dawn of a new and better day.