Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Scattered thoughts

Today's post doesn't really have a theme. It's just going to be a bunch of random blabbering from me about whatever comes to mind. Hope ya'll don't mind that :P?

So I've been doing a lot more experimenting in the kitchen since my recent boost of motivation. Usually these types of things last only a few days for me, and then after a while the feeling fades and I stop pushing myself. But so far this wave of motivation is lasting, and I intend to ride it out till the end.

Anyhow, back to my kitchen experiments; I'm feeling a lot freer to try new things and step out of my comfort zone. I've been making homemade nut butters in my free time (I'm pretty sure my family thinks it's pretty odd, but no one has had the guts to comment on it so far) and I'm discovering new ways to eat and incorporate more calorie dense foods into my diet. Just for fun here are the nut butters I've tried so far and how I eat them.

Raw almond butter (I made a chunky version of this too, and it's wa
better in my opinion).

I tried this in oats but I wasn't a fan. I like it best eaten plain with a spoon, on cracker with a banana, or on toast with honey and cinnamon. Definitely my favorite nut butter so far.

Then there's coconut banana butter (although I won't be making this for a while, I made it today and it took SO LONG). This smells divine, but if I eat it plain or even on bread it makes me sick - it's THAT rich. I love it on banana oat bran or oatmeal though.

(This is
Katies picture, seeing as i is her recipie I thought it was only fitting - also my butter turns a rather unattractive dark color after a relatively short amount of time)

And then there's tahini, which I tried just recently. I am not a fan AT ALL. Even in hummus, I don't like the flavor. Maybe it's because it's home made, I don't know. But I'm not ready to risk buying a whole jar just to confirm I don't like it.

And then for the rest of my healthy fat intake there are my classic favorites - avocados and almonds. I like almonds best plain, and avocados basically any way they're served. They're just yummy!

Here are some of the other lovely foods I've been enjoying recently:

(Home made pitas with stuffed with roasted chickpeas and veggies. I looove pita)

A cereal mess breakfast - with pear, yogurt, almonds and cinnamon. Although I will agree with everyone that says cereal isn't filling, but it sure is yummy

I might be the only one in the world that enjoys my oats without a lot of fancy toppings. I savor the flavor of whipped banana oats (ala Kath) without a bunch of added toppings.

A new recipe I made up - orange flavored curried cous cous and tofu. I liked this dish so much I made it twice in 3 days.

On a less positive note my stomach is still a mess - 80% of the time I am in pain, nauseous or bloated. This does make eating much harder, because I feel like by eating I am hurting my body. This of course isn't at all true, but in my mind pain=bad so food= bad. I'm hoping I'll be able to discover the reason for all these symptoms soon, so I don't have to keep going through this. Because pain is NOT fun :(

I'm also realizing I'm gradually becoming less controlling of my food. I take random bites of food here and there and don't really think about it. Normally I don't eat mindlessly, meaning I walk into the kitchen with a plan as to what I'm going to eat. But sometimes I find myself eating a teaspoon of almond butter from the jar, or a nut from the pack, or a bite of this or that, just for fun - because I feel like it. Sometimes this is a bit triggering for me, because I feel so "out of control". But usually that feeling only lasts for a moment, and it doesn't bother me the rest of the day.
I think this is definitely a step forward, because that's what normal people do. They eat bites of this and that, and don't obsess over every slice of apple or crumb of cake. Because really, does all that really matter in the grand spectrum of life?

Speaking of life I do have some new things going on. Tomorrow I am going to look at the university I MIGHT be attending next year. It's quite far away so it'll probably end up being a bit of a field trip. I don't mind though, actually I'm quite exited. It'll make my dream seem that much closer and more attainable. And I realized recently that going to uni next year is one of the few things I REALLY REALLY want right now. So just to have a taste of what the future might hold for me is a thrilling prospect.

The more I think about all that is in front of me the less I want to think about my eating habits and old mentalities. It just seems like such waste of time, not to mention pathetic. I mean, who gives that much thought and attention to their food and diet. I am most definitely an advocate for healthy living and lifestyle, but if it comes between a "healthy diet" and doing what you really want in life, I think it's obviouse which should be more important. Not to say you can't do both; but for goodness sake if you can't go to your friends birthday party because there will be cake made with (gasp) sugar and butter, or you can't go on a trip because you might have to eat at a fast food, you're not placing enough value in the things that really matter.

Alright, enough of my ranting. Hope you all are having a fantastic week so far and enjoying every moment while it lasts.

Have you discovered a new food you like recently?

What would take priority in your life over a perfectly healthy diet?


  1. All your nut butters look amazing!

    It might help to go to the doctors and get some allergy tests done because food should not effect you like that :(

    I have also recently started taking random bites of things here and there because I feel like it. There is a sense of lack of control but as you say, it's there for a moment and then I forget about it. It's amazing how not so long ago, these itty bitty bites would have made us explode in a flame of anxiety whereas these days, food no longer controls us the way it used to. Now that is what I call progress :P

    When it comes to a "healthy diet", I like to think of the foods that make me feel good. Not just physically, but mentally as well. I went so long eating certain foods because I "should" have but when it came down to it, that food didn't make me happy. Nor did I actually truly want to eat it. I longed to be able to eat a piece of birthday cake or a bar of chocolate. THese things make me happy. Sure, they send me on a sugar rush, but the flavour of these foods far outweigh everything else. I get so much pleasure and therefore happiness from these foods that I just don't care whether they are good for me or not.

    (Woah, this was long! Sorry :P)


  2. I love all of your recent food experiments! And I'm so glad to hear that you are stepping out of your comfort zone and having a more normal relationship with food. You go girl!

    I'm sorry that your stomach is bothering you so much. You deserve a lot of credit for giving yourself the fuel you need, despite the discomfort.

    I hope you have a nice trip to the university!

    And foods? Zone protein bars and couscous. Yum! =)

    Take care!