My new revelation for the day: I am allowed to eat whatever I want.
So basic, so simple - yet today was the first time I put it into practice.
Here's the story : I was wondering what I wanted to eat for dinner. I opened the fridge and saw some yellow cheese. "MMMM, that would taste lovely over toast, wouldn't it?" I started imagining it, the way the cheese would melt in my mouth, the lovely contrast it would have with the tomato sauce and basil. And then it hit me, why don't I just eat it. Yes it's a "fear food". And... So that's what I did, I made myself a lovely little cheese toast. And I truly enjoyed every bite. I'm not a fan of the stuff when it's not toasted, because it seems rather bland on its own. But in this toast it was AMAZING. Since it was so yummy, I had another toast. And then it hit me. Who told me I wasn't allowed to eat cheese before? What was it that stopped me at simply wishing I could eat it and not eat it. My own stupid routine and rules. Well it's time to break those rules and learn to eat the things I like in moderation. Broken down that means eating a piece of chocolate as opposed to the whole bar. It means a scoop of ice-cream instead of the tub. It means a toast with cheese instead of five. Eating what you like is HEALTHY and NORMAL. I feel like slapping myself for not letting this concept sink in sooner.
Food is good, it is meant to be enjoyed.For so long I looked at enjoying food as a weakness. That's messed up, I know, but it's the truth. The fact that I wouldn't let myself enjoy food made me somehow "higher" then all these other people. In my mind I was better then all these simple people that would freak out and get all exited over ice-cream. But guess what - life is about enjoying simple joys. It's about smiling when the sun warms your face. It's about singing out loud when you feel like it. It's about dancing on the spot when you have music blaring on your headphones. It's about laughing with your three year old siblings. It's about curling up in bed with a good book and letting yourself relax. It's about having deep philosophical conversations with friends over a glass of port. It's those little moments that make life worth living.