Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Am I strong enough?

Right now I'm faced with a very difficult decision.

This is somewhat related to my previous post in which I asked what my friends expectations of me were. And the answer was straight to the point - eat whatever we do. Unfortunately their tastes involve a lot of fast food and alcohol. And I don't know what to do.

Honestly thinking about it gave me an anxiety attack that still hasn't finished. I don't know what to do. I want to challenge my ED behaviors and go and enjoy myself, at the same time I'm not sure if I'm strong enough. In the past when I've tried to tackle something overwhelming too fast I ended up falling into a purge cycle that I desperately fought hard to break out of. Yet staying at home isn't good for me right now either.

So what is the right thing to do? I know this is something I have to find the answer to within myself but I was wondering if you have any experiences with this. Have you ever been faced with something that you were sure was impossible, but coped with it ok? On the flip side have you ever tackled too much at once with negative repercussions? I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences with this.

Thanks to everyone in advance.


  1. Ok, I see that you're torn between an incredibly hard decision and I'm going to give my two cents on it.

    If they're really your friends, they'll accept that you choose to eat healthier and that you don't want to consume fast food and alcohol. The whole basis behind the idea that "only a little won't hurt you" may be true, but it's also totally ridiculous. Why should you have to put yourself through eating disgusting food if you know it's going to make you feel bad? There are always compromises. If you guys go out to eat, you can order things that aren't as "bad" in your opinion - you're still eating so I don't see what the big deal is.

    I'm faced with this dilemma as of last night too (it's amazing how much we really have in common). There might be a TINY chance that I can go see my best friend in Florida over break and the first thing that came to my mind (besides "AWESOME!") was "how am I going to eat?" A real friend is going to support your decisions and accept that you don't want to eat certain things, it's a lifestyle choice. If you were vegetarian or vegan and they expected you to "eat whatever they did," wouldn't you be offended that they didn't want you around because you wouldn't eat meat?

    It's completely your decision still, but I say if you have to subject yourself through mental torture just to see these people, who in my opinion don't think very highly of your decision to just live a healthy lifestyle, I don't think it's worth it in the least bit. Once in a while, sure, why not have something that's a bit less healthy, but having to eat McDonald's and guzzle booze like it's going out of style? Lame.

  2. I HAVE indeed been faced with the same situation as you and I have succeeded! As of right now, you have been sticking to foods that are relatively safe and when you have decided to challenge yourself, you have been in a place that makes you feel safe and comfortable. The next step is to be able to challenge yourself in situations that make you feel uncomfortable just to know that you can!

    My counsellor challenged me to go out and have fast food with my friends just once so that I know that I could do it. I did it, and the world didn't come crashing down around me. I didn't gain an ounce of weight and the feelings afterwards were surprisingly bearable! YOu don't have to drink like a booze hound - that's just not fun. You don't even have to drink at all if you don't want to! When I go out with friends, I have a drink or two and just leave it at that. My friends often think I have had more than I actually have because I just drink it really slowly. You could just try fast food once and if you don't like it and it doesn't make you feel good, then don't have it again. When I tried it, it actually didn't taste as good as I remembered as a kid. Now that I'm so used to "real" food, I crave it. But having McDonalds every once in a while is not going to make you fat nor is it going to kill you. I am living proof :)

    The thought is so scary right now, I understand this. But then you have to think deep down and ask yourself what you are actually scared about. I'm sure that the reasons are really silly like mine were. Try it once, and if you don't like it, don't do it again :)

  3. Sorry I haven't commented in a while/:

    But anyway, I think you should eat however YOU want to eat. Not how other people want you to eat, and not how your ED wants you to. If you don't want to have those things everyday, then don't. Those things are good every once in a while. But just eat whatever you feel like having. Almost like intutive eating(: I've been trying to do that, but it's kinda hard when you first start out.

    So If you want to have fast food at that moment, then do it(: I haven't had fast food in a while either, but that's just because I haven't been craving it. It's your life so you deserve to do whatever you want(: