Monday, September 13, 2010

It's good to be alive.

Today was a day I felt it was good to be alive. The sun was shining, I had a yummy breakfast and I picked up some cheap fresh produce at the local farmers market. Three cheers for organic, healthy food!
Call me weird but I like seeing dirt on the veggies I buy. Not caked mind you, but just enough to differentiate it from the shipped, frozen and sprayed with God knows what chemicals supermarket bought stuff. It's weird, but it's easier for me to eat food if I know that it's good for me, or that will bring my body some benefit nutritionally. It's easier for me to see it as "medicine" then, especially on the days I can't eat because I enjoy it.
But today I felt genuinely happy. I took a walk with my two youngest brothers, and they were just enthusiastic and happy about everything in life that I guess it must have rubbed off on me. I love kids, I really do. Especially loud, hyperactive, 3 year olds :P. Then we came home and baked an apple cake together. And I ate some! The first time I've baked something and eaten it. It was a bit too sweet for my taste, but instead of putting it away I ate it all. The first while afterwards I felt guilty, but I REFUSED to think about it and now I feel great and proud of myself.

So today I tried a new food - apple cake and I like it - I'll just make it less sweet next time.
Oooh and I put a whole banana in my oats today and sprinkled some strawberry bran flakes on top - yummy.

Getting weighed tomorrow, a bit anxious about it but I'll try to push it from my mind. Hope everything goes well with my doctors appointment.

1 comment:

  1. What a wonderful post :)

    It's odd to think but as you get further and further into your recovery, that feeling of being "genuinely happy" becomes the norm! It's such a great feeling to have after feeling like shit for so long. You deserve to be happy, hun :)

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who like to buy dirty vegetables! I can't have a bowl of oats without banana in it anymore. I just think that the banana completes it! Next step is to put cocoa powder in them hehe nah you don't have to but I am OBSESSED with cocoa banana oats :D

    Good luck with the weigh in tomorrow! Would it be easier for you to ask not to see the number? I found that when I was weighed, I found recovery so much easier when I couldn't associate myself with a number.

    Much love,